Saturday, 10 January 2015

Born To Choose


In the USA, the documentary "My Husband's Not Gay" has had the desired inflammatory effect. For those who don't know, it is one hour show that is documenting a number of men who openly admit to being attracted to other men but choose to marry women, because that is conducive with their faith. This has sparked outrage among some of the LGBT community, who took exception to the idea that someone could choose who they loved. Now, the TV channel has played this brilliantly. It has since gone viral and will undoubtedly get good viewing figures. For me, however, it has raised an interesting point that makes me think that we still don't get it when it comes to same sex couples or indeed homosexuality.

GLAAD and other LGBT organisations have built their argument of respect for all whom they represent on the basis that they were born that way. They did not choose to be that way, so you have to respect it. Fine. Except, let me put this to you. Would a gay couple's love for each other be any less valid if they chose to be that way? I don't think so. If anything, it makes it more valid. Saying "you're born that way" as the one and only reason for someone's actions is trying to liken it to a genetic dysfunction or hereditary medical condition. However, if someone has made the choice, a conscious choice, one that has been rationalised and carefully considers the emotions involved, then surely that has more merit than anything else.

Of course, the fear is that if something is a choice, it can be changed or questioned. Look at all the laws regarding discrimination and they address age, race, disability, sex, sexuality and religion. Which one gets attacked the most openly these days? Religion. Why? Because of all of them, it is the one that is designated as a choice. One that you can change. But that is not fair. Choices are perfectly valid. You don't have to agree with them but trying to mob someone into following your choice is bullying. That is wrong.

The problem with society is that it benefits groups to polarise because it entrenches you on one side. If you've got the numbers, you'll have the victory, or at least that is the idea. For this polarisation, it comes in the form of labels, namely gay and straight. Here's a thought. You're neither. You're just a human being. I'll use myself as an example. I find women more beautiful than men. It's not that I'm repulsed by men. I enjoy their company and some of them are damn fine to look at. It's just I choose to be with women. Mainly because they're prettier. Perhaps, I was born naturally inclined to be attracted to the opposite sex but what if, tomorrow, I decide I want to be with a man. Would the LGBT community shun me, tell me I'm a fraud and that I cannot live like that? Would I be denying my nature? Would how I felt be overruled by my previous straight lifestyle? I don't see why.

The thing that defines us is not how we are born but what we choose. Our agency makes us what we are. Why are we trying to overrule this with nature? Freedom to choose should the prime human right. Not freedom of the consequences but the right to make a choice that allows someone to live how they see fit. As long as it doesn't contravene the laws of the land and shows tolerance to everyone else who observes those laws, then there is nothing to complain about. We were born to do one thing. Choose our fate. No one should be allowed to take that away from us.

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